April 13th, 2004, South Shore Hospital, Weymouth, MA

A miracle.

April 14th, 2004, South Shore Hospital, Weymouth, MA,
A week and half ago my mother's life was completely normal. But after feeling a little dizzy and disoriented, she went to see her doctor to see what was wrong. He sent her to the hospital where she was told she has a brain tumor and must undergo emergency brain surgery. That was performed today. Afterwards while she was still unconscious in the Intensive Care Unit, the doctor met me, my father and brother in a private room and told us that the tumor is malignant and she has brain cancer.

April 21st, 2004, Marshfield, MA
Mum came home from the hospital today.

May 12th, 2004, Marshfield, MA
Now where am I? continue

July 14th, 2004, Marshfield, MA
Mum's radiation treatment is finally over. She's had 7 weeks of it, everyday Mon.-Fri. and done pretty well. My schedule is now freed up a little and I will now go home to Maine and get a life going for myself. I will come off the road completely as best I can and get a job and a two bedroom house in the country, so that my mother will have a room of her own to come and stay in whenever she wants. I considered staying nearby, but I wouldn't be happy in Mass. I will work a 40hr. week in three days and drive down to see her on my days off until she is ready to come up and visit me.

September 1st, 2004, Freeport, ME
After landing a few different jobs and trying a couple, Job and I have moved back to the farm. We have a little cottage here for now. I've found a few houses, but haven't liked any of them enough for my Mum, but I'm still looking.

September 4th, 2004, Freeport, ME
Heather and Colin got married in Yarmouth and had the reception on the farm.

November 30th, 2004, Marshfield, MA
Suddenly, Mum has to go in for another brain operation, today. Please pray for her and for peace in our world.

December 2nd, 2004, Boston, MA
The operation went well. The neurosurgen said he was able to get all of the visible tumor out which is something our previous surgen at a different hopspital told us wasn't even possible. This doesn't mean we're in the clear though because tumor cells are microscopic and branch out into the surrounding tissue, but this does give us more time. What we do with it is up to us.

December 4th, 2004, Marshfield, MA
Mum came home today. It's been a long two weeks and we're all going to rest and recuperate for the next few days.

December 8th, 2004, Freeport, ME
Mum doesn't have any more appointments this week, so Job and I have come back up to the farm to work and get some perspective on everything. Thank you for all your prayers.

December 12th, 2004, Freeport, Me
Stayed up in Maine this weekend. Found a house for Mum and Dad to stay in if they ever want to come up and visit. It's not perfect, but you can't always wait around for perfect to come along. Sometimes you have to make the best of what's available and work towards perfection. This is something I've tried to learn and use lately stemming from some advice my friend, Paul, gave me recently. He said "A" is where you are, "Z" is where you wanna be, but you can't always get there in one big jump,so shoot for "B", dummy. Living on the road the way I have for the better part of the last 8 years has allowed me to be too idealistic at times which made me stubborn to accept things that I didn't agree with 100%. I'm learnig that was unreasonable at times. Things shouldn't have to be all or nothing. You shouldn't need anyone or anything to be perfect in order for you to be happy with them. Perfection, if there really is such a thing, can exist in your attitude when you can't see it in the world. You can have a perfect will. I'll never lose site of "Z".


Jan. 1st, 2005, Freeport, ME

God bless everyone. God help us all to be happy and peaceful at no expense to one another or our planet.

Jan. 25th, 2005, Freeport, ME

I like my little cottage on the farm. I have a real house in Yarmouth to live in if I want, but I don't see the need. I'm semi-off the grid here. Simple is better. It keeps me disciplined and makes me appreciate the simple things in life.

Feb. 24th , 2005, Marshfiled, MA
Job and I are down in Mass. fulltime, now, so my father and I can split up the around clock care for my mother.

March 19th, 2005, Marshfield, MA
Watching Mum sleep I'm in awe of how beautiful and peaceful she looks.

March 27th, 2005, Marshfiled, MA
Easter Sunday
Today is a special day. Jesus died on Good Friday and on the third day, Easter, he rose again. Mum passed away on Good Friday, also. Whether you or I believe in Catholicism is inconsequential. She did. I was sitting at her bedside holding her hand as she slept. It was very early in the morning. The sun had just come up and she took a long last breath and passed into a better place. It was a hard grueling week for my father, brother, and I. I believe, and pray, my mother did not consciously experience what we had to manage for her in this world. After her body finally joined her spirit, three days have passed and I still don't feel any sorrow or pain. In fact I don't even feel like she's even gone and I realize, now, it's because she's not. This Easter I can only be thankful. Thank you Mum. I love you and thank you God.

June 29th, 2005, Portland, ME
Back on the Road
Job and I left the farm about a month ago. The farm and I never shared the same values and work ethic, but they always allowed me a lot of autonomy and freedom. This is why I would return, plus it was a beautiful place to live along the ocean, but with all this the trade off was no longer worth it. I spoke about honesty, community and privilege at one of their board meetings that I crashed one afternoon brandishing dirty overalls and muddy boots in a room full of shirts and ties. They received me politely, but on the whole I remained alone in my beliefs, sooooooooooooo... on the road again. We'll stay in the area for the time being. I want to stay close to my father a little while longer.

July 7th, 2005, Marshfield, MA


We love you.

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