It's nightime. I'm sitting at the computer by a campfire. In all the nights I've slept outside, I've never had a fire. But, this evening when I arrived at the park there were coals still smoldering from the campers that were here before me, so I threw a few logs on and kept it going. It's kinda nice sittin' here in my little beach chair editing the movie by the fire under the night stars. I guess a laptop would be more convient and trendier than the big plywood box I carry my computer around in, but I'm moving forward and that's what matters.
Anastasia State Park
St. Augustine, FL
April 5, 2002
The movie's done. It's not perfect and neither am I, but I'm proud of it. I ran out of money three months ago, but I've made it. I can stop living day to day and go back to the simple life I had five years ago and start chipping away at the debt I've accumulated making it. It's been worth it. I didn't have any bills when I left, but when I realized it was going to last longer than six months or so, I told myself:
"Some people get into debt with school loans, others do it when they buy a house or a car, others just spend, so if you're going to do it use the money for something that no one can take away. Use it to provide yourself with the opportunity to learn what no one can teach you and then spend the rest of your life embodying it. If you succeed, paying off a credit card bill will be nothing compared to what you've just accomplished. If you fail then you will have the peace of mind that you tried and you can go back and join everyone else in doing whatever it takes to survive."
I just need to do one last thing.
Thompson's Point, Maine
April 11th, 2002.
Left New England on foot with $30.
April 12th, 2002, under a bridge, visited "Ground Zero", N.Y.C.
April 17th, 2002, on a couch, left N.Y.C.
April 18th, 2002, standin' up, Carney Point, NJ.
April 19th, 2002, on the floor of a motel, Raleigh, NC.
April 20th, 2002, on a couch, Brunswick, GA.
April 21st, 2002, on a church pew, Tallahasse, FL.
April 22nd, 2002, in the corner of the freeway and over-pass, Quincy, FL.
April 23rd, 2002, on the patio of a vacant office building, Houston, TX.
April 24th, 2002, on a mattress, Johnson City, TX.
April 25th, 2002, on a couch, Pecos, TX.
April 26th, 2002
I had to return to Pecos to know I wasn't just taking the easy way out after the movie was done. I had to return here prepared to finish my walk. And now I'm here where Bandit and I left off and I've got nothing to proove. I may walk again someday, but right now it's time to regroup, build up my resources and put some meat back on these bones.
May 20th, 2002
Went by the farm I used to work at. They offered me my old job back and an Airstream camper to live in. I took it, atleast 'til the fall. By then I'll be ready for whatever's next. Though it's not a house or an apartment, living in the camper, my own place, with electricity, a phone, and other domestic comforts will be a transition. I'm not sure yet whether it's a good one.
It's fall and winter is closing in. I gave my two week notice at the farm yesterday. I'm not sure where I'm headed, but I have no reason to stay. I don't feel like I'm part of any solution here. I want to give more than I take and, right now, settling down just makes me feel like a taker.