03-13-04

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His other foot was fine yesterday, but, now, that one is bothering him more than the one with the cut. I think he must of pulled something because he was favoring the one with the cut so much. I would have carried him if I had to, but he was chasing animals and running around like a nut like he usually does so I let him walk, but he hasn't budged since we got here. We're both bored out of minds and it's been rainy and windy since we got here so we've been in the tent mostly. I walked the couple miles into town and back to get groceries and more hydrogen peroxide, but other than that we're kind of stuck. We're leaving the campground tommorrow regardless. I paid for two nights, but that's it. It's the first time we've ever stayed at one. The sign said $8.00 to camp and there's bathrooms and a shower house then they slip in a $2.00 entrance fee for each day you camp plus the day you leave like you're going to camp, but you might not enter so they better have a separate fee for that. Then, I found out there's no hot water in the shower house and it's 50 degrees outside. I wouldn't mind it all so much if people we're up front with things. If the sign said $11.00 to camp and there's no hot water atleast then I wouldn't feel like I had been tricked. I won't tell you about the bathrooms. Anywayz, whatever, we're outta here tommorrow. There's plenty of woods around where we can camp for free. I just thought it'd be nice to camp out rather then hide out. I doubt Job will be up to walking by then, so I'll put him on the wagon part of the rig and roll him there.
It's times like these when we're stuck that I get a little down. I feel like the wind is going to blow the tent into the lake at any moment. Things that I normally shrug off take more of a toll on my mood. The way we treat one another, the way it's acceptable, almost expected, to ignore one another in everyday life, to walk by a person and pretend like they're not even there. This is not the kind of world I want to live in. It's one of the reasons I live the way I do, and will continue to live until living any other way addresses it better. On a day like today I'm trapped in it a little more than usual. Plus, my resources are a little diminished at the moment on account of building a new rig, twice. I'm sure that is a factor, also. I wasn't worried about it before Job got hurt. I was planning on finding work once we got a little further north to try and stay ahead of the summer heat when it finally hits, but it's weighing on me a little, now.
I think to myself how surreal it is to be writing this here in a place I've never been before where no one knows me with the possibility of someone, somewhere, someday reading it. And, if they do by then it will have all come to pass and I'll most likely be bopping down the road somewhere with a smile on my face or possibly I will have finally snapped and be locked up in the nut house or worse. Either way, what's the point, right now, I'm still stuck here and I'm sick of being alone all the time. I guess the point is I still believe in being honest, that honesty is somehow universal to us all and that a true statement about one life is relevant to another. Maybe I'm just bored that's why I'm writing this and you're bored that's why you're reading this. Oh well, I still believe honesty is the answer. It's why I write everyday to keep a truthful record, to get thoughts and feelings out of me to make room for news ones, the next ones. Honesty helps me stay free even when I'm physically not like now.
(I've moved back into the tent. I was sitting outside leaning against the tree, but it got too cold and windy. Even the guys fishing along the lake have called it a day.)
Might as well keep writing. Frig that, I'm gettin' our asses out of here, right now. Forget waiting for another day and dealin' with another windy rainy night on the lake.




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